


Isn’t She Lovely

by windsthatwhisper



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Pat and Jonny are super sleep deprived, Podfic Available, Wishbabies, but it’s okay so am i, suddenly parents, the all star game made them do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 00:15:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19414474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windsthatwhisper/pseuds/windsthatwhisper
Summary: It's nine in the morning when Pat and Jonny stumble down the stairs, sluggish with sleep.There’s a baby carrier on the kitchen island.Jonny blinks, blinks again, then turns to get a cup of coffee.Or, the wishbaby au no one asked for.





	Isn’t She Lovely

**Author's Note:**

> Diana helped me out with this back in January in a quick chat and it’s been sitting in my drafts, incomplete for a while, so I binge-watched Say Yes to the Dress and finished the fic.
> 
> I am sleep deprived. This is the result.

It's the day after the All-Star weekend when it happens.

It took missing the playoffs last season for them to get their act together, to man up and admit that they'd been pining for each other since the third season. 

It was a night of adventures for both of them, in both feelings and sexual experiences, but all in all, it turned out okay. 

The All-Star weekend came at their nine month mark, making it a perfect milestone (that Patrick was totally not keeping up with, psh.) 

The day they get back is when it happens. 

It's nine in the morning when Pat and Jonny stumble down the stairs, sluggish with sleep.

There’s a baby carrier on the kitchen island. 

Jonny blinks, blinks again, then turns to get a cup of coffee.

“Jon.” Patrick says, cautious, as he approaches the carrier. 

Jonny grunts into his mug. 

There's a baby sleeping in the carrier -- Pat didn't know what else it  _ would _ be -- with chubby cheeks and blonde curls and Patrick needs to sit down. 

He leans against the island and blindly reaches for the birth certificate, then thrusts it into Jonny's face.

Jon miraculously doesn't get coffee on it. He sets down his mug and reads over it, trying to use the only three brain cells that are awake at this time to figure out what's going on. 

Jonny has to have three cups of coffee before he believes what he's seeing. 

Patrick grabs the little rolled up piece of paper tied to the top of the carrier with a curly white bow. He unravels the paper with shaky hands.

_ Congratulations! _

_ You're now the proud parent(s) of a little bundle of joy!  _

_ Along with your baby, you will find a WishBaby™ Certified carrier/car seat and a blanket. On behalf of Wish Baby Deliveries, we wish you luck in caring for your new baby. _

Patrick couldn't believe what he was reading. 

“I'm not awake enough for this.” Jonny gurgles through his coffee. “Says her name is Patricia Joanna Kane-Toews.”

Patrick’s jaw drops. 

Jonny shrugs. “At least I can call one of you Patty.”

“Or maybe PJ.”

“That's a boys name.”

“Not if it consists of girl names.”

Jonny shakes his head and keeps reading. “We're listed as the parents. Birthday is January 28, 2019. Seven pounds, nine ounces. Twenty-one inches long. Nationality is listed as Canadian-American.”

Patrick swears under his breath and makes grabby hands for a cup of coffee. He downs it in four seconds, staring at the baby the whole time. The moment he picks her up, she'll wake, and Patrick isn't sure he's prepared for that.

Jonny, however, feels differently. “Well? Pick her up. You can't just leave her.”

“Says who?” Patrick demands, but he's already reaching for her. 

The blanket is soft under his hands. It's white, with a pattern of pastel pink and purple flowers stamped across it. He unclips the buckles and gets his hands under her, scoops her up and out of the carrier. 

She stirs immediately, squirms in his arms and flails her tiny hands. Her eyes blink open, and Patrick's breath is taken away because they're brown, the perfect shade of brown that matches Jonny's to a T.

“Oh.” He whispers, and falls in love immediately.

She’s naked underneath the blanket, not a diaper or piece of clothing on her little body. Patrick carefully rearranges the blanket to cover her up. Modesty, man. That’s his daughter.

She smacks her lips a couple of times, takes in her surroundings, and  _ wails.  _

Both of the men startle, and Jonny manages not to spill coffee all over the floor, instead getting it on the counter top and on  _ him.  _

Patrick does his best to console the baby, but she just cries away.

Patrick meets Jonny's eyes, wild and panicked. “Call Sharpy!”

Jonny makes a mad dash out of the kitchen. 

__________

Sharpy takes a good minute or so to laugh at him, because  _ of course you idiots would accidentally create a wishbaby. _

But, he promises to bring a few essentials and says he'll be over in an hour.

That means he's leaving Jonny and Pat alone with a screeching baby for an  _ hour.  _

“Shh, PJ baby, it's okay.” Patrick begs, bouncing her up and down while he paces the living room floor. “Please stop crying, sweetheart. It's okay; it's okay.”

Jonny's googling what to do when receiving an accidental wishbaby, but he's been coming up blank. 

“Okay, here's something!” He hollers over PJ's crying. “This says that the baby will more than likely be hungry. So we just need to feed her.”

“Fucking great, Jon, just one problem,” Patrick snaps, “We have no bottles and no formula.”

“That's two problems.”

“I'm going to stab you with a spoon.”

“I'll text Sharpy, ask if he can pick up formulas on the way here.” Jonny says and whips out his phone. “Are there organic formulas? Or ones for allergies? What if she developed my dairy problem, or gluten?”

“I think the certificate should say.” Patrick frowns and rubs PJ's back. 

While Jonny reads off the certificate again, Patrick attempts to tickle PJ to get her to calm down. It doesn't help. She starts screaming, and her face contorts into less distress and more annoyance, and-

That's fucking  _ Jonny's  _ look. That dead-eyed stare that holds no emotion, just utter annoyance and disappointment. 

Patrick thrusts the baby at Jonny. “You take her. You two can bond over that damn stare.”

Jonny holds PJ out as far as he can, lets her dangle from his hands, and stares back at he with the same look.

PJ calms. 

Patrick's eyes bug out of his head. Jonny and the baby stare at one another, same look, filled with annoyance and disapproval. 

“Good?” Jon asks, pulls PJ to his chest.

PJ sighs softly, nuzzles her face into Jonny's peck, and goes silent. 

“I'm…” Patrick tries to say, but just slumps against the doorway in defeat. “What the fuck?”

Jonny shrugs, just walks into the kitchen to find a smoothie, PJ tucked in the crook of his elbow. “Be better, Kaner.”

__________

Sharpy arrives an hour and fifteen minutes later, two duffel bags and a backpack in hand, and Seabs’s following in his wake.

“Well, she's still alive, so you're doing something right.” Is the first thing Sharpy says to them.

Patrick chucks a shoe at him. 

Sharpy ducks around it with a chuckle. “Alright, alright, calm down. Here, we brought stuff.”

They set the bags down on the couch. Sharpy zips open his duffel. “I've got some old clothes, pacifiers, and a couple toys.”

“I brought wipes, a pack of diapers, baby powder,” Seabs lists, “Oh, I also grabbed the bottles and formula for-”

“Formula!” Pat shouts. “Yes, fuck, she needs to eat before she starts screaming again.” 

Seabs makes quick work of explaining how to make a bottle and which nozzles to use, what all the numbers mean, and  _ do not give her formula with a cereal nozzle.  _

Seabs somehow managed to remember to grab a bottle warmer, and as he's setting it up Patrick thanks any deity that's listening for the grace of Brent Seabrook. 

While Seabs gets Jonny situated with feeding her, Sharpy pulls Patrick away and holds up the black backpack. 

“This backpack is gonna be your baby bag and yes, it's gotta be this big.” He tells him. “If you go out with the baby, you bring this with you.”

Sharpy helps Patrick fill up the baby bag, giving him hints and tips as they go.

Jonny walks into the living room, PJ curled in his arms while he feeds her with a bottle. Jonny has Big Arms™, and it takes Patrick’s breath away at the sight of how small she is in them. 

Jonny smiles at him, happy and internally panicking, and Patrick can't help but smile back. 

“Ew,” Sharpy grimaces, “Get a room.”

“This is  _ our _ apartment.” Jonny says, deadpan.

“I think that's our cue to leave.” Seabs announces and grabs Sharpy by the back of his shirt. “If you need anything, call Duncs. It's his turn.”

They leave, and Pat and Jonny are alone with their baby.

“Hey,” Pat sighs, and walks over to his boyfriend to peer down at their- their  _ daughter,  _ “We can do this, right?”

“We're 1988,” Jonny shrugs, “Of course we can.”

__________

Jonny and Pat call their parents the next night to tell them, and then thanked them over and over for putting up with all their bullshit because  _ seriously,  _ babies are a hassle.

Their families flew down the week after she arrived to help and max out their debit cards for baby clothes and shoes and headbands and a bunch of other stuff. 

Leaving on the first away game was hands down the hardest thing either of them had ever had to do. The team let them be at the back of the plane, as the two counted down the hours until they could go home and be with their girl.

They didn't trust a nanny, and frankly, neither of them wanted to leave their little girl with a stranger, so when they went to work, they'd leave her with one of the wives that wasn't working at the time.

“We’ll have to sign her up for daycare soon.” Jonny says one night, filing through papers.

Patrick glares, “Over my dead body,” and cuddles PJ closer.

They turned the second guest room into the nursery, built a crib and a changing station, painted and put up stencils. They set up a rocking chair as well, because they both knew that they'd find comfort in rocking PJ on rough days.

It's much more bearable when PJ reaches her third month and they got knocked from the playoff spot. She’s much more alert now, able to look around and smile and hold things, kick her legs and babble at her fathers.

She's already wrapped around their fingers. 

__________

She's four months when Sharpy invites them over for dinner. 

Jonny gets her dressed while Patrick handles packing the baby bag. Jonny clicks his tongue while he slides on a pair of zebra striped pants, up her legs and over her diaper. She's fussing, cold, and whines pitifully. 

“Oh, issokay,” Jonny coos, a grabbing matching pink long-sleeved shirt with a zebra face on it from the closet, “You're okay, pretty girl.”

He pulls her head and arms through the shirt, tugs it over her belly, then blows a raspberry on her socked feet. “All done!” He picks her up, and she goes limp noodle in his hands. But she melts into him, making little baby sounds while gnawing on the collar of his shirt. 

“Hey,” Patrick says, walking into the nursery, “We're all packed.” 

He smiles at PJ, soft when he sees her and her outfit. She grins toothlessly back at him and flails her arms, gurgling. They put her in her car seat and strap her in. Immediately, she fusses, kicking her legs when she notices she’s out of Jonny's arms. 

“It's a Papa day, huh?” Patrick laughs while Jonny buckles her up. 

Jonny puffs his chest out proudly. 

The drive to Sharpy's is filled with PJ making disapproving noises, demanding she be in arms reach of Jonny again. Jonny’s turned in the passenger’s seat most of the ride, talking to her and keeping her distracted. 

She’s very happy when they arrive at Sharpy's and she's pressed up against Jonny's neck again. Abby greets them at the door, ushering them inside. 

“Aw, guys! She’s adorable!” She squeals, and Patrick beams with pride, “Thank you.”

Maddy and Sadie come tearing into the living room, eager to see the baby. Sharpy's on their heels, a tiara on his head and glitter on his clothes. 

“Ah ah ah,” he tells them, “Remember what we said. You have to be quiet and calm around her. She’s very very little.”

Both girls freeze on the spot, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Abby puts a hand on the small of the boys’ backs, “Let's eat.”

PJ sat on Jonny's thigh during dinner. Patrick’s next to him, ready to swoop in if Jonny needed him to take her. It’s unlikely, though. It’s Papa Day.

“She's so cute!” Sadie cries when PJ lets out a glass-shattering squeal for no apparent reason. She gets slobber all over the neck of her shirt, shiny across her lips and tiny knuckles.

Maddy nods in agreement, “I love her.” Jonny kisses the top of her head with a smile. 

They stay long enough to watch  _ Incredibles II,  _ per request of the girls. Patrick and Jonny settle against each other on one of the small sofas. PJ’s dozing, but she makes little whining noises, reaching out to Patrick and kicking her legs. Jonny makes an exaggerated wounded noise, but transfers PJ into Patrick’s awaiting arms.

“Hi baby.” The blond grins, kissing her chubby cheek and cuddling her close. 

They leave shortly after the movie ends since PJ knocked out halfway through, face stuffed into Patrick’s neck, tiny hands clutching his shirt. Pat’s no better, eyelids fluttering every few seconds. By the time they get to the credits, Patrick’s floating on the edge of a light sleep.

Jonny gently shakes him awake, big hand on his arm. Patrick grunts and forces his eyes open, looking around blearily. 

Jonny runs a hand over Patrick's curls. “We should get goin’.” He says, voice low as to not wake PJ. 

Sharpy and Abby share knowing grins at one another as they watch, then hustle to get the girls to bed so they can see their friends out.

The drive back is silent. Jonny’s driving this time, Patrick nodding off in shotgun. His hand is on Jonny’s thigh, though, squeezing every so often, just to show his affection. 

Jonny volunteers to put PJ in her crib so Pat can go crawl into bed. Patrick kisses his cheek sloppily, utterly in love with the man in front of him, and goes to do as he’s told.

Jonny’s careful, hands on the back of her neck and butt as he lays PJ onto the mattress in her crib. Once he’s sure she’s still asleep and breathing, he flees to the bedroom to throw off his shirt and faceplant into the bed. Patrick pats his asscheek in empathy. 

Jonny huffs, crawls up the bed so he can wrap his arms around Patrick and pull him close. Patrick sighs happily, melting into him. “Love you.”

Jonny kisses the top of his curls, feeling like he’s balancing on a hair and about to tumble into sleep, when the baby monitor on the bedside table crackles and PJ starts crying.

They both groan in unison, before breaking off into hoarse bickering about who’s turn it is.

As Patrick rocks PJ in the rocking chair while he feeds her a bottle, perched in Jonny’s lap with his large arms wrapped around his waist, he decides that he wins at life. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[podfic of] Isn't She Lovely](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19997299) by [kanetcews (lavenderharry)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderharry/pseuds/kanetcews)




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